it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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