so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
