carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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