He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize