butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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