How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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