Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
