well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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