That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
