dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
