and you said cock pushups were impossible
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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