The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
