If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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