he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Success! We fucked roommates!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
