we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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