I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize