How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize