If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
