PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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