Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize