We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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