Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
