mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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