dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
