He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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