last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
