and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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