She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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