I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
