At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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