Who wears a wallet chain?!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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