I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
