Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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