I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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