I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize