I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
