Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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