I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sext me about skeletons
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
