I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize