I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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