Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My cha cha got a haircut

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf

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(925): View more from California

she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.

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(537): View more from

I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.

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(817): View more from Texas

I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children

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(309): View more from Illinois

It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!

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