Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You can't just leave with hair like that
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
