we need to drink 2009 down the drain
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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