My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
God, I missed his penis.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
