You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
