have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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