i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
