Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
