I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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