I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
