i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Couch. On fire.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
