dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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