just come out here and I will go home with you...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
