u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
