In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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