i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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