I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
