the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
