I hate your face
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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