she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
