If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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