I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
