at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There r osticjed everywhere
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
