I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
