Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
