Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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