I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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