scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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