didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
