Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My underwear smells like fireworks.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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