I like to think it a success when the cops are called
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
