this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i believe in u and ur pee
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
