I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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