Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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