forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
