That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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