Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
