I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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