As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
